Reflection

2023 over a cup of Lemsip!

Whatever the boys were carrying finally caught up with me. I'm choked up with cold, my lips close to cracking and my nose red raw from all the blowing. The COVID test I'm glad to see was negative, but doesn't explain how I've come down like a sack of potatoes. Despite the head feeling how it is and the constant streaming I'm trying to put a brave face on for the final day of the year. I give the scales a clean they haven't been used for a while. Stand and see, I'm sure I did the same last year but can't quite remember where I wrote the number. I step off and on a couple of times. The second and third reading normally become a little more forgiving and it's been known to knock a few pounds off just by moving the scales a wiggle by a few millimetres. Not today, I get the same reading four times and step off accepting the news.

I add it to the list of reflection, not quite below where I wanted it to be, but I'm sure it's better than where I was last year. Ignoring the fact I feel like death I feel more healthy in myself and the belt notch is under control.

The list...hmmm, how do I distil this? A lot has happened in 365 days.

• By now I'd have sorted my pictures, my digital assets. I have not.

• I'd have finished that book, I have not.

• I'd be at my target weight, I am not.

• The books I'd started, the list of controls, the podcasts, the learning....it's not I have not, lets just say there have been a lot and I've absorbed a lot of information.

In an effort to turn this around and swinging the pendulum to the positive, thinking about where next with a view to being better every day.

First up it's not easy I tell myself; there is a lot to be doing, a lot of choices and the same amount of time everyone else has....I just need to decide how I'm going to spend it.

Back to the list.....as I hug my cup of Lemsip! (headache, cold relief)

• Exercise. first time I've looked at this from a annual point of view (taken from my garmin). Activities: 193, Distance: 1,311.21 km

  

  • Running, 610km over 61 hours

  • Cycling, (I don't track everything) 293km

  • Hiking/Walking (not sure how the watch works for Munro's etc) 94km

  • I discuss with the boss, the main runner of the house, and on reflection....this is good. I don't class myself as a runner! In reality 610k/5k is roughly 122 runs....that's a run every 3 days and yet I still don't class myself as a runner......but maybe heading into 2024 I should.

• Writing....hmm,

  • I can't throw the year chart up, my journal, notes and content is in pockets of organised chaos.

  • What I can say is that I have shown up for myself, on most work days with a 6/6.15 start and put some reps in, there are good days and bad. There are days where I wonder why, procrastinate and spend time organising and 'researching'.

  • There are days when I edit and think this stuff is ok...keep going.

  • This year I feel I have the basis of something, the shaping of the start of a book.

  • I've broken through a layer of my own introversion.....it's time to keep going. I started on Substack, not quite in anger, but maybe with a little more dedication since November.

  • By the end of 2024, could I class myself as a writer?

• Systems, my system is better than ever. By no means perfect, and I've just spent the last couple of days tweaking and starting afresh (more procrastination or a new beginning, like a new journal?). I've tried to document it, but keep going down rabbit holes.

  • My reflection on the year, is that outcome based goals don't happen by themselves, one really needs to focus on the process goals. I could never have set out to run 600k at the start of 2023. However my rule/process of running every other day at 7am has helped this outcome happen. Which feels easy to write down, but at 6am when the alarm goes I'm not happy!

  • Along the same line of thinking, between 6 and 7 is when I do my writing, visiting my colleagues in arms. I wouldn't go near that sideline project if it wasn't for this time.

  • I've got a lot of technical learning I want to get into, meetings and context shifting all weigh heavy. I need to set out the stall better around the weekly/daily activity

  • Cooking and the passion to learn more, eat healthily without missing out is part of the story. The pictures on my iPhone never seem to see the light of day. I need to be braver and embed the practice of sharing.

So as the year comes to an end, I know there will be widespread activity of setting goals, resolutions and embracing the chance for a fresh start and an opportunity for personal growth. I know I've been reflecting over the last few days, this juxtaposition between years. I too will grab this fresh start, to take the mental switch. However I'm not going to make any bold outcome based goals....I'm going to resolve to keep improving on my processes. Sticking to a discipline of time blocking, doing the reps and seeing what happens.

So 2024...is about focusing on the practice, having a mindset of self improvement and learning, hopefully the outcomes will take care of themselves.

As I close out, I mainly want to thank my fellow writing comrades, in the trenches helping day in day out showing up on their own terms which helps bring me along. I hope to win some more battles in 2024 with your help, patience and understanding. Thanks for the support and happy new year!

Photo by Chris Flexen on Unsplash